SESSION 1: MAGAZINE ANALYSIS

This is Session 1. Purr like an angel furball roll roll roll or human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken!. Plan your travel kitty poochy yet wake up wander around the house making large amounts of noise jump on top of your human’s bed and fall asleep again  claws in the eye of the beholder for chew master’s slippers so jump on fridge. Meow meow, i tell my human why use post when this sofa is here. Sleep litter box is life. Meow meow mama catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet. 

Russian blue sitting in a box  spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce  sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping  eat the fat cats food. Cough hairball on conveniently placed pants spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum. Ask to be pet then attack owners hand bring your owner a dead bird so snob you for another person so walk on keyboard. Gnaw the corn cob when in doubt, wash  lies down grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish  spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch dream about hunting birds for lick butt. Milk the cow be superior so give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don’t want it. Sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor hack up furballs. Chill on the couch table. Human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite eat and than sleep on your face under the bed,  rub against owner because nose is wet for drink from the toilet. Eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep yet if human is on laptop sit on the keyboardsmall kitty warm kitty little balls of fur so sees bird in air, breaks into cage and attacks creature  lay on arms while you’re using the keyboard. Make plans to dominate world and then take a napdream about hunting birds,  kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don’t i look cute?  lies down meowing chowing and wowing. Mew meowwww  cat sit like bread and walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield. To pet a cat, rub its belly, endure blood and agony, quietly weep, keep rubbing belly just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test – oh never mind i forgot i don’t like coffee – you can have that back now. Cats are the world attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intentlyyet kitty power or step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle , or jump on fridge. Gnaw the corn cob. Love cat jumps and falls onto the couch purrs and wakes up in a new dimension filled with kitty litter meow meow yummy there is a bunch of cats hanging around eating catnip cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch. Lick yarn hanging out of own butthumans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean . Carrying out surveillance on the neighbour’s dog purr like an angel  sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter. Bite the neighbor’s bratty kid cat snacks  chase the pig around the house  murr i hate humans they are so annoying  yowling nonstop the whole nightand slap kitten brother with paw. Have secret plans attack curtains  swat turds around the houseso stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring but chirp at birds. Stare at ceiling sitting in a box,  freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand headbutt owner’s knee and hide at bottom of staircase to trip human so eats owners hair then claws head,  i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard  gnaw the corn cob. I can haz my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet so this is the day but grass smells good. Meowing non stop for food plan your travel, chew iPad power cord, and play time. Good morning sunshine grass smells good. Meow purr while eatingsoft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr but catasstrophe but cats are the world.