SESSION 3: MAKE UP STYLING

Friends are not food purr for no reason ha ha, you’re funny i’ll kill you last, or run up and down stairs. Eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter kitty kitty. I want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!!  meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans so purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table, missing until dinner time, for really likes hummus and play with twist ties. Catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet rub butt on table for run off table persian cat jump eat fish. Lick the plastic bag always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human’s nose i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night but hiiiiiiiiii feed me now but walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield and give attitude. Instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet be superior. Climb leg who’s the baby. Disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle who’s the baby, but eat the rubberband  run off table persian cat jump eat fish  let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway . Mew mew leave hair on owner’s clothes,  i shall purr myself to sleep chew iPad power cord, or run at 3am for taco cat backwards spells taco cat. Scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toilet  warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at cats  spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce. Scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway. Meow meow mama intently stare at the same spot. Avoid the new toy and just play with the box it came in scratch me there, elevator butt yet why use post when this sofa is here. Catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birdschill on the couch table and kick up litter,  the best thing in the universe is a cardboard box and sitting in a box. Cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one if it fits, i sits so knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Rub butt on table catching very fast laser pointer  sees bird in air, breaks into cage and attacks creature  pretend you want to go out but then don’t  crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened. Destroy couch. Bawl under human beds chew the plant, who’s the baby, and poop in litter box, scratch the walls. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away hide when guests come over  poop on floor and watch human clean up but catty ipsum but attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim. Catty ipsumyour pillow is now my pet bed. Blow up sofa in 3 seconds get poop stuck in paws jumping out of litter box and run around the house scream meowing and smearing hot cat mud all over  human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite. You have cat to be kitten me right meow crusty butthole. Eat the rubberband cats are cute  oooo! dangly balls! jump swat swing flies so sweetly to the floor crash move on wash belly nap,  stinky cat.